It's been a while since I've posted to my blog. I've been apprehensive about doing so. I am so angry about dementia but I also know that having negative thoughts, even though warranted, are not healthy. I've also been apprehensive about writing about what I'm go through because it may not paint some of my family in the best light. Even though it would be nice to discuss how the family dynamics have changed and what it is like to experience that, it's not fair to my family. All I can say about family is it's tough. Extremely tough. We all have different personalities and handle stress and grief in different ways. Trying to navigate that while getting things accomplished is very hard.
As far as my search for an Assisted Living Facility for my Grandma, I found two facilities that I really like for her. Unfortunately, her Dr. talked her out of moving for the time being. And she is not sure she is ready to make the move. My mom thinks that my Grandma is worried that she'll move down here and then I'll never talk or visit to her. No matter how many times I tell her the opposite would happen. Oh well... Maybe she'll change her mind one day. The facilities are really much more affordable down here.
So since the last time I wrote, Ben and I got married. It is one of my most favorite days. We had a beautiful ceremony overlooking the beach and it was just us. It was perfect and I couldn't imagine doing anything different. After we exchanged our vows we had pictures taken. The pictures are great!! It has us on the beach with the sun setting in the background. Ben and I couldn't have wished for better weather. Everything just worked out perfectly!! Afterwards we drove down the beach to the Don Cesar and had a fabulous dinner! Our room at the Don overlooked the gulf and we fell asleep listening to the sounds of the water. It was the perfect way to bring 2013 to a close, on a happy note :)
This year has been challenging. I don't regret anything from it. Of course I wish my dad wasn't sick but on the other hand, it's our life experiences that mold the people that we become. Yes, it is horrible and there are moments where I don't think it's fair. At the same time I'm learning about a strength that I possess that is much stronger than I could have imagined. I choose whether I'm sad or depressed or happy. I choose to be happy. There is really no benefit gained in dwelling on all the sadness around me. There are so many things about my life that are great!! I miss my dad, but I'm excited about what my future holds. I'm excited to start this next chapter of my life, with my husband at my side :)
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